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The Saracens explained through verse

Mitt Romney has a new campaign ad on his website and, Posted by

Mitt Romney has a new campaign ad on his website and, gee whiz is it a doozy. Here’s the intro, for those who haven’t yet built up a resistance to Mitt’s Salt n’ peppa ‘do and TV dad demeanor (via Wonkette):

Mitt Romney: It’s this century’s nightmare: Jihadism. Violent, radical, Islamic fundamentalism. Their goal is to unite the world under a single jihadist Caliphate. To do this, they must collapse freedom-loving nations like us.

This from the man who pledged to “double Guantanamo.” By many accounts Romney seems like a bright man with a practical business sense–but listening to him talk about global affairs really makes you question his grasp of fundamental geo-political realities. Like, the entire Middle East past and present. He’s starting to sound like some of the Byzantine primary sources I’m reading for class, except he replaces the word Saracens with “Jihadists.”

To help Mitt learn a little bit more about Islam, here’s a little ditty I worked out during my Modern Iraq class the other day. Note the iambic pentameter and rhyming couplet at the end:

The Shia–Sunni conflict has deep roots,

Ascension to the Caliphate for one.

The Sunni wanted choice of leadership.

The Shia handpicked Ali, as the son-

In law, Muhammad’s daughter’s spouse.

From there the spat evolved as time went on

In government and policy they did joust.

The Shia have the Mahdi who is gone,

But will return as imam number-twelve.

And that’s as deep as I intend to delve.