The editors select their favorites from this year’s In Quotes.
April 28, 2009
“Did you ever corner anything? And then found out that it just terrified you?”
—Comedian Bill Cosby, while wearing a Temple football helmet and discussing with ESPN’s Erin Andrews the importance of instilling fear on the football field.
April 7, 2009
Clark Kellogg: “Hansbrough went for a lower body root canal on that foul.”
Jim Nantz: “Lower body root canal? I don’t want one of those.”
—Clark Kellogg and Jim Nantz, providing commentary on last night’s championship game.
February 24, 2009
“I hate leprekons lol”
—Shaquille O’Neal, twittering under the alias “THE_REAL_SHAQ.” The self-proclaimed “Big Aristotle” began doling out his famous witticisms via the internet messaging service last November.
February 20, 2009
“When I was five years old—I grew up in a very rural town in Missouri, and I had never even seen a black person—they asked us to draw a picture of ourselves in the future, and I drew myself holding hands with a line of tiny black stick figures. I’ve always wanted this.”
—Heidi Strobel, wife of Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels, explaining why she and Hamels chose to adopt an AIDS orphan from Ethiopia.
January 27, 2009
“Chickens have an uncanny ability to think and are very agile. They are very athletic to me….”
—Former Atlanta Falcons star Michael Vick, in response to a question on PETA’s Developing Empathy for Animals exam. For one of the exam’s questions, test takers have to discuss “chickens’ needs and abilities.”
January 13, 2009
“What is it about strip clubs that you can’t stay away?”
—Sportscaster James Brown interviewing former Cowboys cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones, who has had repeated run-ins with the law at strip clubs, despite being told by the NFL to stay away from such establishments.
November 7, 2008
“It was uplifting. It was something that you can tell your kids, you really can become anything now. You don’t have to become a basketball player. You can become President of the United States.”
—Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James in response to the election of Barack Obama.
October 28, 2008
“We are not a charity. We cannot give them the game.”
—San Francisco 49ers head coach Mike Singletary in a post-game press conference after his team’s 34–13 loss to the Seattle Seahawks.