Do what you’re told

This weekend, good luck choosing between a mint julep and a margarita.

By Hannah Gold

Friday | May 4

Don’t barrel through May without taking advantage of Spargelzeit (Deutschland asparagus season, didn’t you know?), which continues from now through the feast of St. John the Baptist. In honor of this tender, green vegetable, head to the “Schnitzel Spargel Spaetzle” cooking demonstration led by Frau Ingrid at Dank Haus (German American Cultural Center), whose Web site says, “nothing epitomizes spring quite like this revered stalk.” 4740 North Western Avenue. 7:30 p.m., $16, reservations required.

Aspiring entrepreneurs and graphic designers, now is the time to learn about typography, color theory, and composition from a master who has created designs for several Silicon Valley startups and studied typography in Rome (so he should be able to answer all of my burning questions about Times New Roman, right?). David Kadavy, bestselling author of 2011’s Design for Hackers, will say his part in Harper 101—the event will also feature the launch of “Envision Bytes,” a weekly electronic newsletter that will be distributed among top universities nationwide. 1116 East 59th Street. 5 –6 p.m., free.

Saturday | May 5

Please allow the Smart Museum of Art, in the spirit of the Ancient Greeks, Jacques Derrida, and their ongoing “Feast” exhibit, to welcome you to the Logan Center. “Symposium: Of Hospitality,” will feature hours of stimulating lectures from food activists, theorists, artists, restaurateurs, and keynote speaker Jan Verwoert, as well as lunch brought to you by Chicago food trucks, and dinner catered by Soup and Bread. It all starts off with a spoonful of slatko (Serbian strawberry jam) and is sure to be packed with equally surprising and wonderful revelations. As Derrida always says, “Let us say yes to who or what turns up…” 915 East 60th Street. 10 a.m., free.

Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby fall on the same Saturday this year. How ever will you decide between a margarita and a mint julep? Hopefully this helps. Cantina Laredo in River North will have live music, salsa dance instructors, and fairly priced tequila all day long. Or you can watch some poor sap get beaten by a nose while downing premium bourbon at The Southern in Wicker Park. Bring your best sun hat (or sombrero, if you get confused)—prizes will be given out to the best-dressed voyeurs. But if come Saturday night, you are really in no condition to make such a weighty decision, head to The Anthem’s “Derby Sanchez” party for Kentucky hot brown sliders, homemade Doritos, and plenty of drinks. Cantina Laredo: 508 North State Street. 11 a.m.– midnight. The Southern: 1840 West North Avenue. Derby from 3–6 p.m. The Anthem: 1725 West Division Street. 11 a.m.–3 a.m., 21+

Sunday | May 6

White Light Cinema presents “The Pioneering Physique Films of Bob Mizer’s Athletic Model Guide,” two nights of lectures and screenings at The Nightingale Theatre that spans the entire film career of Mizer, who produced erotic man-on-man exercise videos in the 1940s when such forms of sexual expression were absolutely taboo. His shift from softcore beefcake bodybuilding films to full-on pornography will be represented in the second event on Sunday titled “From Posing Straps Porn,” where you can catch revolutionary flicks like Night In A Dungeon and Erotic Positions for Consenting Adults. 1084 North Milwaukee Avenue. Starts at 8 p.m., $7-$10.

Finally, a major musical shift from G-Strings to multi-stringed instruments. Chicago harpists will perform solo and chamber works by Handel, Ibert, Debussy, Franck, and more on the fourth floor of Goodspeed Hall. Selections include Ibert’s “Entre’acte for flute and harp” (1935) and Tournier’s “Etude de Concert ‘Au Matin’” (1940). It’s the perfect way to rise and shine (or get lulled gently back to sleep) on your lazy (ahem) Sunday morning. 5485 South Ellis Avenue. 10-11:30 a.m, free.