The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

Hardcore Curriculum-September 21, 2009

Anna and Chris are back and are ready to give you advice on how to start your school year romances off right.

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Summer break is over, and it’s time to put away the bathing suits and sunblock. While you are getting ready to crack open the books, Hardcore Curriculum is here to help you out in a very tough subject: your love life. So whether you are ending an old relationship or seeking a new one, here’s a bit of advice for the start of the school year.

THE RIGHT WAY TO PICK UP A FIRST-YEAR

The first few weeks of Autumn Quarter are an ideal time to get out and explore, especially since there is a whole new class of first-years to mix up the social scene. If you are looking to hook up with one of these fresh new faces, there are a few ways to do it without being a creepy cradle robber.

Avoid haunting O-Week events, since that is just a little too obvious. Although if you do run into a hottie during O-Week, there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun together. A sure-fire way to find first-year romance is also the most obvious: Get to know them!

Go out of your way and actually make friends with first-years. Friendship might become something more, or your new friends might introduce you around. You might also find a fantastic new first-year in class. Studying together, while discreetly flirting with them, could score you a good grade on your tests and in your love life. Once you get yourself a new friend, you can buy that special first-year an “I like you” $1 shake on Wednesdays from the C-Shop.

THE WRONG WAY TO PICK UP A FIRST-YEAR

Yes, it is much less work to find a drunken fling during crazy O-Week bashes, but no matter what anybody tells you, hunting for first-years in the frats is creepy. The problem isn’t being at a frat or having a little fun, but going out to specifically pick up a drunken first-year. That is a bad way to start off the year in terms of relationships in general. And, if it’s not cool to stalk the frats for vulnerable drunks, it’s also uncool to hang out around freshman groups or classes or make it a point to attend all the first-year parties or get-togethers.

In general, if your behavior starts sounding like it came out of of a trashy teen novel, then you are probably going down the wrong path!

HOW TO KEEP UP THAT LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

With the start of the new school year, the stress of a long-distance relationship (LDR) may be coming home to roost. Don’t worry—there are things you and your partner can do to keep your relationship healthy and worthwhile.

To start, you should lay down some rules and plan for the future together. It is important that you both have things to look forward to in your relationship. This can be as simple as agreeing to talk once a week or planning for the holidays. Next, you need to keep up a steady stream of communication. Don’t wait until you have time open on your schedule, because over the course of the year it will be hard to come by.

Of course, things are bound to get in the way of Skype time with your sweetie. If something comes up, make up for the loss. Putting your significant other lower on your list of priorities can quickly doom a LDR. However, don’t avoid the rest of the world. Becoming a recluse is not healthy for you or your relationship. You and your partner are witnesses to different events, and who better to relate your exciting new experiences to than your partner. LDRs are certainly hard work, but love is always worth it. You can do it!

HOW TO BREAK OFF THAT LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

When summer ends and school begins, the weather isn’t always the only thing to cool off. One day in autumn, you may come to realize that your significant other (SO) living miles away isn’t giving you what you need.

This is a really sensitive subject, mostly because no two people feel the same way about it. However, there are two viable options in this situation. You can: A) break up with your SO in the very near future over the phone or B) wait until whatever holiday comes up and then break up with your SO face-to-face. Both of these will make you feel awful, but we believe that option A is the kinder of the two. It gives your ex plenty of time in their semester to meet someone new, and there is almost no way that they will have bought you a Christmas present. Give your SO a call, and be honest about how you feel. Don’t give them false hope for school breaks or after graduation—that’s just rude.

And if there is one piece of advice that applies to all relationships, romantic or not, it’s that you should never, ever be rude or disrespectful.

If you have a question about sex and relationships, submit it anonymously to Anna and Chris. Just click here!

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