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November 17, 2006

If I reviewed O.J.'s book, here is how it would go

For many Americans, O.J. Simpson is a living fossil from a bygone era when a famous athlete going to trial for double homicide was still a novelty and a white Ford Bronco was still an acceptable form of transportation. Fortunately for book reviewers everywhere, O.J. is not one of these people. Boldly going where no homicidal Heisman winner has gone before, Simpson’s new book explores in-depth questions such as “how I did it” and “what was up with all the blood?”

Aptly titled If I Did It, Simpson does more than simply cross a 5,000-year-old societal line saying that murder is wrong; he tramples over it with unprecedented ferocity in his upcoming work. While 240 pages may seem like a lot for a mere mortal to fill, as he has proven in the past, O.J. cannot be stopped by conventional means. Margins, punctuation, potential lawsuits---—nothing can stop Orenthal James once he puts his head down and starts typing.

Since being acquitted of all charges in 1995, Simpson has gone on a tireless quest to find the real killer. He has conducted hours of research, scouring the scene of the crime for clues, globetrotting from Istanbul to Constantinople, and following potential clues before the trail went cold. In his quest, Simpson has amassed an extraordinary insight into the actions of that fateful night. While it surely pains O.J. to delve so deeply into a horrific tragedy, he does it nonetheless. O.J. Simpson, forever a public servant.

The consummate American renaissance man, Simpson has met success along every road that he has traveled in life. From the gridirons of his youth, to silver screen spoofs Airplane and Naked Gun, to double homicide and a Los Angeles courtroom, his record is impeccable.

As provocative as it is page turning, O.J.’s book has scored yet another literary touchdown to add to his ever-growing list of accomplishments.