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April 14, 2009

Hardcore Curriculum-4/14/09

[img id="77593" align="alignleft"] Why do so many U of C students have a desire to or have had sex in the Reg?

Chris: As fun as bumping on those books sound, you’re bound to get a few bindings ruined that way. Just like the mile-high club, this fantasy has its appeal, but you don’t want anyone knowing you’re doing it, or worse, to see it going on. I do not condone or condemn—just be considerate. If you were wandering around the A level, you wouldn’t want to run into two people doing the dirty. Do your research and find a good place to be isolated and quiet. Also, you don’t have to go full out to relieve some stress. You can have almost as much fun with your clothes on and avoid being caught with your clothes OFF. No one here is responsible for your actions except you, so watch yourself!

Anna: We spend so much of our time hitting the books, I think sometimes we deserve to hit it on the books. I believe the “sex in the stacks” fantasy is a common one that comes from the fact that we spend too much time stressing out about schoolwork in the library. We fantasize about doing the ultimate de-stresser in a place that stresses us out most. Fulfilling this fantasy is one of the main reasons to do it in the stacks, and the other is just to take a sweet break when you’re studying. If you ever find yourself in possession of a study room in the Reg, pull down those blinds, and go bump on the books!

If I take Plan B following a night of unprotected sex, do I have to tell my partner?

Chris: Yes. It is your body and you have the right to do with it as you wish, but you are also in a relationship. You have freely given yourself to your partner, whether that is for a night or for a lifetime. Not only is trust an issue since your actions were mutual, but the responsibility therefore should have been shared. Tell your partner, evaluate your relationship. Consider toning it down a bit and figure out where the relationship is headed. It took two to tango, and now the two of you must face the consequences.

Anna: Chris, it may take two to tango, but only one to clean the room when you’re all finished. Lady, if some dude sticks you with his unwrapped salami, you have to protect yourself from at least one of the many dangers of unprotected sex. You don’t have to be in a relationship to get your freak on, and you could be left alone to face what’s coming. You aren’t obligated to tell your partner that you took Plan B unless you feel that they should know the consequences of their actions, like if you think your decision will prompt the schmuck to be more responsible about sex in the future. To sum it all up: what you put in your body is your business—you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t want to.

How do I respond to a couple that approaches me for a threesome?

Chris: Congratulations! Most people never experience a threesome. Of course, you may not be ready to jump into one quite yet. If you are a virgin, sexually insecure, or just generally not up for a threesome, I would advise against it. For the most part, sex is an intimate thing. Sharing it with more than one person is great, but finding one person to share ALL of it with can really make sex an awesome experience. Just be calm and evaluate how you feel. A simple yes or no answer will suffice. Don’t get yourself into the situation unless you are 100 percent positive it is what you want.

Anna: Knowing what you want out of a sexual encounter is important, but you should also be aware that you are being let into an established relationship for an evening. This couple may have approached you for this, but no one knows how they will react. People who have planned on having threesomes have changed their minds during or after sex, deciding that the whole affair was a bad idea for their relationship. Be ready for the aftermath—on their part, and on yours. Go into this threesome knowing that you may not be let in again; be on guard emotionally. Watch out for you and your partners and have fun!

Have a question about sex and relationships you want to ask Anna and Chris? Just go to chicagomaroon.com/voices and click on the "Submit a Question" link. All questions are anonymous.