October 11, 2007

Gilbert Arenas pwnd, l33t status now in doubt

NBA All–Star and super-blogger Gilbert Arenas is in hot water today over allegations (now confirmed) that he has been cheating the system in order to improve his Halo 3 rankings. While it's heartening to see that professional athletes are just as succestible to harmless, online vice as the rest of us, some gamers aren't taking this very well.This, from a poster named "Sword and Sales" at (bold/italics his):

To Gilbert Arenas,I am not a big NBA fan, so I had not heard your name until this day (Standby for assumptions that I am a geek that does nothing, but play Halo, however completely incorrect that may be). I find it very amusing that you cheat, and that you also apparently suck donkey balls at this game. Your friend said that you are looking to own people in a 1 on 1 match, or just against your entire team, I accept this invitation gladly. I am a legitimate 42 in Lone Wolves, which doesn't mean much because mediocre players like yourself are being siphoned through the rankings at this early stage of Matchmaking. No worries, in three months, I will remain in the 40's, whereas you will return to your rightful place of one digit numbers.Your friend MrDungeon has come to your defense several times. He is quite foolish. Apparently totally unfamiliar with the Halo 3 Forum, he thought it woudl be alright to come in here and attack us with this Giant Enemy Capslock, and other taunting skills. If you haven't yet noticed, he is a complete failure. Welcome to the interwebz, friend of Gilbert, you just got pwned.There are several people in here that say you are a real "douche" to play with. I don't doubt it. Let me return the favor to you in a nice one on one. I'm sure you'll feel like a -blam!- when you realize you never should've bought Halo 3, because people like myself exist for the sole purpose of melting your face with sticky grenades and Spartan Lasers. When you poke your head around the corner, and think it would be a good idea to bank a grenade off of a wall and hit me behind the corner, I will be behind you, contemplating the best looking way to assassinate you for my Saved Film. When you finally manage to kill me while I am busy jeering at you, or watching a replay of one of your NBA games laughing my ass off, you will teabag me, because you are an NBA player, you have never grown up properly.Once you have done this, realize that I will finally cut the duct tape on my right hand which I will have had behind my back, and actually start playing. All you're going to hear from that point is: "beep, beep, beep, beeeeeep." An indication that you have died and must now respawn to be destroyed by me again. An agonizing minute later, the game will be over, and I will call you an "asshat" and boot you from my party. Than I will return here, and tell of my conquest.So, Gilbert Arenas, standby.
You can join the discussion here. This is what all Hum class would eventually dissolve into if the class just consisted of "The Warlock" from Live Free or Die Hard and my first-year suitemate Gene.