April 24, 2007

SG Election Guide: The Moose Party

Despite 12 consecutive years of losing the Student Government (SG) Executive Slate election, the Moose Party promises that its election this year could mean significant positive changes for the U of C campus—as a start, the Delta Upsilon (DU) brothers say a victory would ensure that Friday night’s annual election result party at their fraternity house would be free to all students.

The party will occur whether or not the DU brothers prevail, as it has every year the fraternity has fielded a slate candidacy. According to Moose Party VP for Student Affairs candidate and DU president Adam Brunk, the party’s name derives from the moose head that has been hanging in the DU house since it was bought by the fraternity in 1930.

According to the party platform, the slate’s objectives include hiring golf legend Arnold Palmer to teach a course about mixing the drink that bears his name, replacing Core curriculum texts with the Mighty Ducks trilogy, and replacing the swimming and fitness tests with a Legends of the Hidden Temple–style obstacle course. The Moose candidates also hope to hire actor Christopher Walken to deliver weekly sermons at Rockefeller Chapel and incorporate Kimbark Liquors into the Flex dollars system.

But while no Moose Party candidacy would be complete without outrageous initiatives and offensive directives, according to Brunk, the slate does have real ideas for changes at the University. For example, the candidates want to bring back the A-level and increase funding for intramural sports.

Brunk said that the A-level was an important place for socializing and studying on campus, and the University’s decision to turn it into a storage place for theses was unwise. He added that increased funding for intramural sports would make students on campus more active.

“The school has this antiquated idea of a fitness test and a swimming test, but people just really need to be active,” Brunk said.

The Moose candidates also hope their run will point out some of the flaws in what they see as a broken and alienating system of student governance.

However, according to Neil Dalal, the party’s candidate for VP of Administration, no one actually cares about SG. In last week’s SG debate, the Moose Party satirically took credit for the LCD screen in the Reynolds Club that SG purchased and installed last year. Originally intended to help students keep track of the buses outside the Reynolds Club, the reorganization of campus routes this year has left the screen an expensive reminder to some students of some of SG’s shortcomings.

“SG is a sham of an organization. We run on an anti-establishment platform,” Brunk said.

The candidates said that they are capable of changing SG’s reputation on campus while advocating for student causes.

“We’d be absolutely fine. It’s easier than running this fraternity,” Brunk said.