NEWS

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March 21, 2008

Balancing the ticket

Like most patriotic Americans, I plan on spending the the next four days on the couch, watching the NCAA tournament and wondering why my parents didn't have the sense to name me "E'Twan."But since I also have an unhealthy obsession with presidential politics, I got to wondering what the leading candidates had to say about March Madness. And because the news media shares my unhealthy obsessions, I have an answer.For his Final Four, Barack Obama chose: UNC, Kansas, Pittsburgh, and UCLA, with the Tar Heels taking down the Bruins in the National Title game.You're probably thinking to yourself right now, "wait a second, isn't that exactly the same as Bob Knight's Final Four?" And you're correct. The odds of this happening are too small for me to calculate, so we can only wonder: Are the two in cohorts? The prospect of an Obama–Knight ticket is tempting, to be sure. Knight combines a military background—he coached at Army—a lengthy track record of managerial competence, and certifiable toughness. Not to mention the fact that he has almost certainly never been privy one of Reverent Jeremiah Wright's sermons. In short, he's an older, meaner Jim Webb.