The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

Hardcore Curriculum — Top 5 Summer Flings to Avoid

Anna and Chris strictly scrutinize fleeting summer romance.

[img id=”77593″ align=”alignleft”] If there is one thing you can count on in the summer, it is heat. A great way to spend this summer is enjoying the hot weather and even hotter hook-ups. To make sure a sunburn is the only damper on your fun, here are some common hook-up characters to watch out for.

Last Summer’s Hook-Up

When you are out and about, whether in your hometown or another city, take a chance and discover the pleasure of meeting someone new. Although last summer’s hook-up is always a safe bet, it is time to diversify. As they say, “out with the old, in with the new.” When you’re out enjoying the sun, it is better to mix things up, rather than dwell on the past. Variety is the best policy when it comes to summer flings!

The Walking Epidemic

You don’t want to be the Sandra Olsson to your hook-up’s Danny Zuko. While this smooth-talking hottie may provide for an exciting summer night, hooking up with him/her might also necessitate a visit to your doctor and a penicillin prescription. Be warned: They may be smoking in bed, but plenty of other men or women (possibly both) have been in the exact same position as you. While your heart might be aflame, make sure your genitals are not.

The Baywatch Wannabe

Let’s face it, the baywatch body is damn sexy, but cliché. Not to mention that yummy lifeguard on the beach is probably getting more tongue-to-tongue action than giving mouth-to-mouth. While this hook-up always makes for an interesting story, its one that everyone and their mother knows. Don’t limit yourself to the obvious. Branch out and find yourself a summer fling that deserves something as unique as carving your initials into a tree!

The Cling-atron 5000

The Cling-atron is a vicious creature that tends to come from your summer and tries to stick to you, no matter what. The closer you get, the harder it becomes to shake them off when it’s time to part ways. Spending your entire summer hitting the beaches with them may be fun and exciting, but what happens with a summer fling should stay in the summer, and not come back here to the stacks. Summer is a magical time when you get to lay back and have a little fun with no strings attached. Before your summer hottie starts getting a little too close, its best to keep things simple: a summer fling is only a summer fling.

The Anti-Fling

The end of the school year is coming, and you need to ask yourself: Do you want to spend this break with a fling or two, or perhaps with someone a bit more lasting? The anti-fling haunts you throughout the summer; he or she is that person from school that you didn’t quite end up with. While keeping up with a potential partner until the beginning of next year is always a good idea, you don’t want to spend your entire summer glued to Facebook, text messages, and dying for a phone call. At this point, if you two are not already in a relationship, it’s best to leave things be for the summer. Press “pause” and come back in the fall.

Things to Remember for Your Next Summer Fling:

Always remember to reach outside of your comfort zone. The coffee shop and the beach are equally good places to meet someone during the hot summer months. When you do find Mr. or Ms. Right Now, always remember that the summer is short, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stay safe. Final words of advice: Sex on the beach may sound better than the alcoholic drink, but it’s quite literally a pain in a variety of places. Stay safe and enjoy your summer!

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