February 12, 2015

A time for progress

In honor of College Break Day, the Maroon Editorial Board is calling the University to action. Here are our most demanding demands. Go big or go home, University!

1. U Pass. I Pass. We Pass. All our classes.

2. More shuttles downtown. More shuttles to other neighborhoods in Chicago. More shuttles out of state. More shuttles to New York City. More shuttles to replace Amtrak. More shuttles to replace Greyhounds and Megabuses across the nation. Shuttles to the moon. Shuttles to the ’60s. Shuttles to the 1760s.

3. Cancel classes when it’s cold.

4. UEA vs. FBI vs. CLI: GAME TIME. Live televised showdown (sponsored by the IOP).

5. Have students’ Yakarma score negatively factored into their GPAs.


7. If we miss out on the Obama Library here are some other meaty options: Nate Silver Library, Tucker Max Memorial Library, Renee Granville-Grossman Library, Dun Boyir Lyberry for Iconomyk Studiez, Kuko Omelet Museum Library.

8. Campus climate survey on campus climate. (Too hot or too cold? More precipitation? Less?? Snow??? Wintry mix????)

9. Annual ski trip to the summit of Mansueto (150 feet)

10. Dean Boyer (D-Bo), will you be my Valentine?

11. Bean Boyer (B-Bo), will you be my Valenbean?

12. Study Abroad: Fort Wayne, Indiana.

13. Study Abroad: Hyde Park.

14. Study Abroad: My off-campus apartment.

15. Aramark.

Happy Valentine’s Day

xoxo, The Maroon Editorial Board