Friday, February 11
Tonight is the opening night of Chicago Critical Mass’s eighth annual art show. If you’re one of those people who wants to smash the window of a car when its driver thinks it’s A-OK to slide through stop signs and/or crosswalks, you should head over to HighSchool to check out bike and anti-car artwork. (6 to 11 p.m., 1542 North Milwaukee Avenue)
University Theater presents A Smoky Morning, an original piece by Jessica Wright, directed by Chris Wand. (8 p.m., $5, Francis X. Kinahan Third Floor Theater)
The Netherlands Wind Ensemble will perform a program entitled Mail from Mozart. Between the seven movements of Mozart’s Serenade for Winds, oboist Bart Schneemann will read letters by the composer to his father. (8 p.m., $11, Mandel Hall)
Slow-core band Low is playing tonight at the Metro. Christian-y emo act Pedro the Lion will open. (9 p.m., $15, 3730 North Clark Street, 18+)
The Neo-Futurists are putting on a Valentine-themed show: 30 Loving Plays in 60 Passionate Minutes. You might get candy if you dress up, so think about that. It’s also happening at the same time Saturday night, and on Sunday evening at 7 p.m. (11:30 p.m., $8-13, 5153 North Ashland Avenue)
Saturday, February 12
The Art Institute’s free exhibit, Chicago Architecture: Ten Visions, is nearing the end of its run. Make sure you check out the notebooks at the end of the women’s exhibit, where you can add your own opinions about your favorite and not-so-favorite Chicago architecture. Max P., anyone? (111 South Michigan Avenue)
In lieu of A Dirty Shame, Doc will be airing another of John Waters’s infamous films, Pink Flamingos. It centers on two families pitted against each other, both vying for the title of “The Filthiest People Alive.” And yes, there will be poop consumption on screen. (7, 9, and 11 p.m., $4, Max Palevsky Cinema)
Sunday, February 13
See how Valentine’s Day can go horribly, biblically wrong with a free screening of Cecil B. DeMille’s classic Samson and Delilah. Hey Samson, watch out for those scissors! They never listen. (2 p.m., Oriental Institute)
Chicago Public Radio’s Stories on Stage continues with Synchronicity. Our local NPR affiliate has been staging these dramatic short story readings for a while, and this one is all lovey-dovey. Aw. Head on over to the Museum of Contemporary Art, with or without your significant other. (3 p.m., 220 East Chicago Avenue)
The 47th Annual Grammy Awards air tonight. Franz Ferdinand is performing, and we’re pretty sure that’s the only reason we might be interested in the Grammys this year. (7 p.m., CBS)
Comedian Mitch Hedberg, known for his one-liners, will perform stand-up for MAB’s winter show. (8 p.m., $10 in advance, $13 day of show, Mandel Hall)
Monday, February 14
There are all kinds of love: Not just romantic love but unrequited love, familial love, etc. If one of the things you love is your feet—despite the fact that you’re missing three toenails—we’ve got the event for you. Nike is throwing a 3- to 6-mile Love Your Feet race at two Chicagoland Fleet Feet locations. After the run, you can show your feet how much you love them with massages, pedicures, and other stuff like that. Fleet Feet claims that it has produced eight marriages out of these fun runs, so maybe someone will swoon at the sight of your callused big toe. (6:30 p.m., 210 West North Avenue and 4555 North Lincoln Avenue)
Tuesday, February 15
Bring your vag on over to Women and Children First bookstore. Vagina enthusiast Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues, will be signing her new book Vagina Warriors. (5 p.m., 5233 North Clark Street)
Everyone’s favorite anti-capitalization activists, eighth blackbird, play George Crumb’s Vox Balaenae and other contemporary American pieces. (7:30 p.m., $11, Court Theatre)
Wednesday, February 16
The love-fest—is it Valentine’s Day or Valentine’s Week?—continues at Doc tonight with the Woody Allen series. Allen’s Everyone Says I Love You is full of familiar faces and songs. (7 p.m., $4, Max Palevsky Cinemas)
Check out Lookingglass Theatre’s latest production, Lookingglass Alice, an adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s classics Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. (7:30 p.m., $30-58, 821 North Michigan Avenue)
Thursday, February 17
Bob Mould plays the Field Museum. I know, it sounds strange. But indeed, the former front man of Hüsker Dü will be playing there as part of the monthly Play the Field series—perhaps even near the big stuffed buffalo. The charge includes admission to the museum, plus a beer! (6 p.m., $15 advance, $20 door, Field Museum)