I meant to blog this a while ago, but its still hilarious:

January 15, 3:30 p.m.—Four men attempted to rob a male victim as he was working in a building under construction on the 5400 block of South Woodlawn Avenue. Four men confronted the victim and demanded his wallet. One man revealed a knife. The victim then punched the knife-holder three times in the face, causing all four offenders to flee. [Emphasis added]

Pwned.