NEWS

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March 3, 2008

President Nader?

When Robert Zimmer became the 13th president of the University of Chicago in October 2006, something didn't seem to fit. Sure, the thinking seemed to go, he was qualified and seemed pretty smart, but...him? For over a year, I couldn't quite place what exactly made his ascendancy so remarkable. But now, at last, I think I've got it: Him!??The man on the right, of course, is Ralph Nader: noted seatbelt safety advocate, presidential also-ran, and the only man in the world actually older than John McCain. So, the question on everyone's minds, I guess, is "are they the same person?" Although I'd certainly be receptive to any evidence that proves otherwise, I'm inclined to say no. Only one man in the world can furrow his left eyebrow quite like Ralph.So what would happen if the two actually switched jobs? I imagine it'd go something like this:

...“They said I could never be president,” the former consumer advocate and habitual Green Party nominee told reporters at a press conference Saturday in the Reynolds Club. “Well this just goes to show that in America, everything is possible.”Dressed in his trademark skinny tie and salesman suit, the 74-year-old soaked in all the perks of power in his first day on the job while preserving the slapstick sense of humor that has made him such an appealing figure among the younger generation. “When they told me they wanted to run for president, I said ‘Well it’s about time!’”Zimmer, meanwhile, was dealt a harsh dose of reality upon realizing that most of Nader’s supporters share similar ideals to the Darfur and Coca Cola protesters who made his first year as president such a difficult one...
Scary stuff indeed.