Response may have been rash

By Maroon Editorial Staff / January 30, 2004

The U of C Hospitals fired 52 employees earlier this month for parking violations, claiming that the nurses, janitors, custodians, and other employees were parking in the hospital’s garage without paying. The hospital’s employment policy included a zero-tolerance policy on stealing—common among most businesses—and the employees were subsequently fired with what they claim was little...

Leila makes an enemy of jurisprudence

By Leila Sales / January 30, 2004

I teach gymnastics to small children. This is, in and of itself, the joke of this article, because anyone could tell you that small children tend to have the attention span of gnats studying algebra. I advise these small children NOT to jump off the balance beam headfirst, and yet they continually do. Why is...

What the State of the Union should have said

By Gautham Rao / January 30, 2004

It was a happy morning after for Peggy Noonan. With a radiant glow, the Reaganite “journalist” gleefully declared that the State of the Union to which she contributed was “fact-filled, dense, and not airy.” Indeed it was “dense,” and I think it is safe to say that the speech was about as “not airy” as...

WMD: a faith-based initiative

By Emily Alpert / January 30, 2004

This week, having vacated his post, the leading U.S. weapons inspector, David Kay, contends that Iraq was disarmed at the start of the war. His replacement, Charles Duelfer, agrees. “The prospect of finding chemical weapons, biological weapons is close to nil at this point,” remarked the former U.N. weapons inspector and Bush senior administration official...

A teeny bopper’s guide to the primaries

By Phoebe Maltz / January 30, 2004

Disillusioned by a blur of Democrats? Look again—there are some crucial differences among the candidates. Seriously, take a close look. As of this evening, the candidates are, in order of teeny-bopper acceptability: John Edwards, Wesley Clark, Howard Dean, Joe Lieberman, John Kerry, Al Sharpton, and Dennis Kucinich. They may all think similar or different enough...

Candidates fail to address economic gap

By Andrew Hammond / January 27, 2004

Despite my obsession with Democratic Party politics, I have yet to find my candidate for the 2004 presidential election. Perhaps I’m just too picky, or perhaps in the reality of politics it is nearly impossible to find a candidate that can be supported without reservation or qualification. Maybe these reservations stem from my love for...

May—December double standards

By Persis Elavia / January 27, 2004

Since I got to college, there is one thing that has really irked me. Well, there have been several things, but this has stood out in my mind the most. My very first column lamented the fact that heterosexual women’s dating prospects see significant shrinkage every year. What I failed to address was how the...

Wintry cold comfort

By Maroon Editorial Staff / January 27, 2004

Bundled in our scarves and hats, we teeter from class to class, from the quads to our homes, literally too wrapped up in ourselves to see each other. Our heads are down, braced against the brutal Chicago winds. Maybe we didn’t understand the word windchill until we got to the U of C. It’s easy...

Race issues far from black and white

By Maroon Editorial Staff / January 23, 2004

It was made official Wednesday evening that students of Asian descent will be included in the Provost’s Initiative on Minority Issues (PIMI). Although a minority in the greater U.S. population, Asians and Asian Americans had previously been excluded from the PIMI because they are an overrepresented minority at the University and at colleges across America....

The failures of Howard Dean

By Joshua Steinman / January 23, 2004

Howard Dean has failed. In his quest to take on Karl Rove’s White House policy of “politics first,” he has lost sight of what should be the goal of every Democrat today: providing a clear, cogent, and easily understandable alternative vision to the entrenched Republican Party. There is no Dean Alternative, only Dean Anger. Whereas...

Fiction in the style of Wesley Clark

By John Lovejoy / January 23, 2004

It is becoming increasingly obvious that Wesley Clark is nuttier than the candy bar that bears his name. For a man who had held himself up as a measured alternative to Howard Dean, he does not seem to me to be any less of a conspiracy-spinning, jabbering lunatic. Consider the past year. First Clark claimed...

Leila’s shower adventures revealed

By Leila Sales / January 23, 2004

I find showering in my public, coed dorm bathroom to be a real trial. I mean, it is somewhat better than showering at sleep-away camp, where people’s idea of a good time was stealing your towel—every single day—and then giggling madly while you shrieked about how you COULDN’T walk back to the dorm naked because...