May—December double standards

By Persis Elavia / January 27, 2004

Since I got to college, there is one thing that has really irked me. Well, there have been several things, but this has stood out in my mind the most. My very first column lamented the fact that heterosexual women’s dating prospects see significant shrinkage every year. What I failed to address was how the...

Winter, relationships: They don’t mix

By Persis Elavia / November 21, 2003

Last Friday, I was walking towards Pick when I was sideswiped by a screaming gale of wind that left me apologizing to the foreign student I crashed into. Picking myself up, I outwardly cursed the blasted weather that is part of Chicago, and continued towards Cobb. Now, I tend to have a pretty clean mouth,...

Shirts, like relationships, are hard to keep clean

By Persis Elavia / October 23, 2003

While washing dishes in the abhorrent house I lived in this past summer, I was watching a neighboring frat boy jump around on his roof while talking on the phone. Trying to figure out how he climbed up that high in those ridiculous shoes of his, I didn’t notice that I had the water pressure...

Couples still in love four years later

By Persis Elavia / June 5, 2003

“The goods are odd but the odds are good,” or so goes the saying about the dating scene at the University. But the stories of three couples, all graduating students, who have been together since their first year, defy the statistical averages. Shannon and Matt One of the few married undergrad couples here at the...

Phone etiquette elicits stress

By Persis Elavia / May 29, 2003

As the year is drawing to a close and classes are wrapping up, summer is on the brain of most students. Summer time, in the words of the boy sitting behind me on the bus, is “Dude, I’m so gonna hook up this summer.” Classy. If that’s your goal, then you’ll need a specific method...

Are they really dating?

By Persis Elavia / May 8, 2003

Through random bits of gossip and bouts of people-watching, I’ve observed an interesting occurrence in the social circles here at the U of C. Fake dating. Yes, I am coining a new phrase: “fake dating.” What is fake dating? It’s when you say you’re dating someone, and you’re not. You might be saying, “Who does...

A typology of U of C boys

By Persis Elavia / April 24, 2003

How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. Good movie. The sequel should be How to Get a Girl in One Night. See, most guys can?t hit on girls without looking like fools. I realize the difficulty; girls are moody and unpredictable, but thankfully you only figure that out after you?ve been dating one for...

Some spring break tips

By Persis Elavia / March 11, 2003

Take a look at what you’re wearing right now, while I do the same. Most likely, you’re attired in a sweater or sweatshirt or jeans, although if you’re naked, please go put on some pants. Now, if you’re feeling particularly adventurous, look at what’s underneath that shirt. Is it pale, chubby, or jiggly? Don’t worry,...

Discussing relationship status

By Persis Elavia / February 28, 2003

Does the following sound familiar? A: Hey, I think we should talk. B: All right, talk about what? A: Well…us…I mean…like, where are we going? B: (long pause) Uh…well, where do you think this is going? A: I don’t know, I just want to make sure I’m not wasting my time with you… B: Well,...

Dating II: Use statistics to score

By Persis Elavia / February 21, 2003

The class of 2006 has 1,117 people, 49 percent of whom are male. That means if you’re an eligible female looking for a date, you have about 547 men plus the upperclassmen. That means we’re dealing with about 2,100 eligible men, that is, before the statistical breakdown. About a third of those boys have girlfriends,...