I miss the A-Level

By Ryan Vass / March 6, 2007

I remember the days when all-nighters weren’t that painful. I remember when you could type for a few hours, take a Twix break, and go commiserate with your friends at another table. I remember when people would build “study forts” out of pillows and sheets in the group study carrels, or when people in those...

Charlton Heston, this election’s most prominent non-player

By Ryan Vass / November 3, 2006

I have come today to announce the unexaggerated demise of a once all-important issue. We sizzle with excitement on the eve of one of the most important elections in, well, two years, and look at them doggies go! Ads spray like fan-struck fecal matter, coating our weary republic with fresh layers of bullshit, each stratum...

Apple Computers: the power of creativity and intelligence

By Ryan Vass / October 20, 2006

For everyone who knows me now this may come as a shock, but I was a bit of a nerd when I was in high school. Specifically, there was an eminently forgettable period of my high school career in which I became obsessed with computers. This was not manifest in the traditional ways—an insatiable craving...

Congress: The good, the bad, and the ugly

By Ryan Vass / October 6, 2006

When I was a little boy, I turned to my father at dinner one night and innocently inquired, “Dad, why don’t you run for president?” Now, to me, that first Bush guy seemed like a bit of a joker, or at least incredibly, incredibly boring. And my dad is kind of funny. So I figured...

Listen to the French? On immigration?

By Ryan Vass / April 6, 2006

Don’t look now, but we are beginning to resemble the French. Though smoking is down and body odor forecasts show only modest gains, Americans, like our stuffy European acquaintances have begun to openly question immigration. Though the anti-immigration crusade has taken many forms, most notably as opposition to the “guest worker” proposal now floating around...

Protesters aren’t martyrs, they’re misguided

By Ryan Vass / March 3, 2006

For those who were unclear or in denial, here is a simple, indisputable truth: The University of Chicago campus is not a free speech zone. It aspires to be one, for sure, but no constitutional mandate precludes repression of free speech on this campus. It is your choice to come to this university, your choice...