Gossip Girl Episode 4.6 Recap

In this week’s Gossip Girl, things don’t make any sense. ~xoxo~

By Elisabeth Sanders

This week on Gossip Girl:

Blair has a dream about being Audrey Hepburn!

Serena wakes up in some guy's bed!

Then he turns out to be her professor!

Then Jenny comes back!

Then Blair threatens her vaguely for vague reasons!

Then Nate broods confusedly and continues to be unable to tell when his new girlfriend is lying to him!

Then a lot of really complex machinations are plotted, executed, and botched, which in turn spawn new machinations, which in turn spawn hurt feelings, which spawn new machinations!

As the series progresses, the specifics of each Gossip Girl episode become less and less important—things that happen get reversed, turned on their heads, slapped around, smashed, provided with alcohol, and sent on their way, in a seemingly random and soon-changed direction. Events have gotten so ludicrously fast-paced and recursive that the show itself has begun to see the absurdity of it all. (Blair's description of Serena's relationships in a recent episode was note-perfect: "Nate, then Dan, then Dan again, Aaron, Gabriel, Carter, Tripp, then Dan, again, then Nate, again. Did your father finally fix that, because he seemed pretty busy giving your mom fake cancer." (But it turns out they were only pretend-fighting and capturing it on video so that they could trick Juliet into admitting that she didn't let Blair into the secret society because Nate—never mind, I have no idea what's going on.)

Everything that happens in the middle of any given episode is easily and often discarded, and the only things that have any staying power (another episode's worth, anyway) are the things that happen in the last five minutes.

Currently: Blair and Chuck call a truce and continue to be tortured and broken-up despite not actually having clearly-explained reasons for this (other than that they are both probably sociopaths); Serena is trying to put her Education above her Attraction to her Hot New Professor; Jenny told everyone she banged Chuck, but Dan told her she was becoming like Blair and then she made a facial expression, so now she's going back to Hudson to become a better person (five bucks on an absence of four episodes or less); Juliet is part of some grand and exceptionally complex plot to DESTROY EVERYONE (or something) and it turns out Serena's new professor/man-toy is involved. OMGG, you guys.