Dr Peppers without Borders

Regular readers of this blog are no doubt familiar with the famous “Maroon column boost,” wherein one

By Tim Murphy

Regular readers of this blog are no doubt familiar with the famous “Maroon column boost,” wherein one of us will write a column, and then, weeks, days, or sometimes even months later, something will occur that is only tangentially related and we will proceed to take full credit. Examples of this include Mike Huckabee’s improbable rise to first place in the Iowa caucuses following my tepid endorsement, and the decision to commemorate Barbaro at Churchill Downs just one year after I first suggested turning him into paste. Cause. Effect.Well, the “boost” has reared it’s awesome head again, and this time it’s bringing democracy to China. Two months after I called on Axl Rose to get his act together in releasing the new Guns N’ Roses album, the good folks at Dr Pepper have upped the ante, offering a free pop to EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN AMERICA if Chinese Democracy is released this year. Says the company:

“It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper’s special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love,” Dr Pepper director of marketing Jaxie Alt says. “So we completely understand and empathize with Axl’s quest for perfection — for something more than the average album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as ‘Dr Pepper for the ears’ because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds – an instant classic.”

That is a deliciously apt metaphor if I ever heard one. Of course, if you break it down, he’s essentially calling it “improperly punctuated, carbonated prune juice for the ears,” which is not the kind of thing you’d normally see on an album cover.No doubt taking a break from trying to broker a peace in Tibet, Axl responded on his website with this:

We are surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr Pepper with our album “Chinese Democracy,” as for us, this came totally out of the blue. If there is any involvement with this promotion by our record company or others, we are unaware of such at this time. And as some of Buckethead’s performances are on our album, I’ll share my Dr Pepper with him.

Sweet. For up-to-the-minute updates, you can read the blog set up by Dr Pepper.