Dear Diary with Mr. Pete Beatty

By Pete Beatty

Dear Diary

Birthday Edition 2002

Birthday coming up. For those of you currently in funds, I would like:

1. Turntable

2. New shoes

3. A nice hat

4. A slightly less nice but a still very nice second hat and matching handkerchief

5. A Biggie-sized dog. Basset hound, IFF you’re in it for the long haul.

6. If you can, get João Pinto to hang out with me for a day and maybe even punch me in the left belly region.

7. Size 7 7/8 Montreal Expos hat (have big head, sorry)

MY proposed Doc Films series

1. The films of Bob Dylan

So this one has Don’t Look Back and Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid, and a special original short feature (directed by me) entitled Yeebie! which is a montage of Bob Dylan looking confused and angry at awards ceremonies, with commentary by Stewart Scott

2. Time for cartoons

The Hobbit, some weird Japanese cartoon porn, and a bunch of David le Gnome episodes spliced together.

3. Drug cinema

Nightmare on Drug Street, if they can find it for me, and The Hobbit, a few more episodes of David le Gnome, with some Little Bear thrown in for good measure.

Rock and roll high school, part six

Got-ta get new sho-wer cur-tains, got-ta do it fast/If I don’t get sho-wer cur-tains, it’s gon-na be my ass.

Weird sli-my green stuff, at the bot-tom of my tub/There’s a fungus among us and therein lies the rub.

I tried to clean it last night and I was lead astray/now’s there’s milky brown stuff and that’s sure not ok

(I got) a dirty bathtub and it’s killin me see

(I got) a dirty bathtub and it’s shakin my tree


I don’t need to see his indentification

Summer movie report:

I have not seen any new movies since I saw Attack of the Clones in May.

Megaton Hammer of Intrapersonal relationships

Well, my röommate made fun of me for playing Zelda töo much, so now I’m not playing it anymore. So now I am also very bored. I guess I’ll have to read a böok or something. Thanks a lot, dickwad.

Midwestern States Spelling Update

Hummus, humus, homus, homos, Hummous, houmus, hummis.

Baba ghanoush, Baba ghanoug, baba ganoush, baba ghanouj.

Antoine, antwan, antawn, antowain.

Extreme, extreem, XTReMe, x-tream, >