The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

Oh. My. God.1

I should start by prefacing that we are all probably going to die, probably by some sort of asteroid

I should start by prefacing that we are all probably going to die, probably by some sort of asteroid careening at a kajillion miles an hour into that new socialist Open Produce store on 55th and Cornell and turning Hyde Park into a giant crater. This is not based on any scientific facts. But after watching this FOX News Special Report, it just seems like the only logical step.Here is self-proclaimed “consumer advocate” and “internet journalist” Andy Martin, talking for like eleventy hours about how Barack Obama was brainwashed by unrepentant terrorist Bill Ayers and convinced to go to the far South Side of Chicago to organize Ayers’s vast, ongoing, conspiracy to overthrow the government by improving public schools or whatever I stopped following the argument about five second in. Seriously, though, that’s basically it. Note the scary Sci-Fi-channel music as images of Barack Obama walking down the street with African-Americans pepper the screen. Hide the children!Martin/Hannity don’t stop there, however, going on to connect the dots and find that Obama and Ayers and Lous Farrakhan all live in the same general area, which can only mean that they are in league. Come to think of it, that implicates me as well, and everyone at this blog and, I guess, the University of Chicago. It was fun while it lasted, but I’m turning myself in.

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