NEWS

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October 5, 2007

Tabloids revitalize body and mind

There are many things that I wish were different about news coverage in America. I wish Russia was still depicted as a Bear in all political cartoons. I wish Jim Lehrer would begin referring to every place east of the Danube as "The Orient." I wish ALLCAPS and strategically mashed keys were considered acceptable rhetorical devices, and that Katie Couric would begin giving the news in verse. And most importantly, I wish everyone headlined like the New York Post does.Here's a subheadline, from their apocalyptic coverage of last night's Yankees loss (where Chien-Ming Wang took the loss):

IT ALL WENT WANG

...which followed immediately by the opening sentence, "Say hello to Chien-Ming Gong."This all seems kind of harmless if you, as I do, consider making ridiculous puns out of the star pitcher's name to be a core tenet of sports journalism. All of this pales in comparison, though, to the tour de force they offered on the front page:

YANKEES SCALPED: INDIANS MASSACRE BOMBERS

You can view it for yourself here.