The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon

Scav 2012 list highlights

Items on the list for the 26th annual Scav Hunt include getting a side mullet, meeting with Rahm Emanuel, and getting your appendix into a jar by Sunday.

As the University of Chicago’s 26th annual Scavenger Hunt kicked off on Wednesday at midnight, 11 teams from all corners of campus pored over the items on “The List,” which Head Judge Leah Rand could only summarize as “better than ever.”

Highest Point Values:

146. Play me a drink, Sam, for old times’ sake…on your piano that dispenses a beverage component with every keystroke. Changing the melody should change the mixology. Instruments and their compositions will be judged both on the quality of the cocktails and the musicality of their recipes. [250 points, 25 extra points if your keyboard can play a different melody to create a different drink]

264. King’s Landing and The Twins are all right, I guess, but we’d rather see something a little more neo-Gothic. Produce a map of the UofC campus that when triggered erects a clockwork version of a campus building of your choice. [175 points]

251. Red Grooms may no longer reside in Chicago, but show us that his influence lives on here. Create a sculpture that displays the spirit of Chicago in the way that Grooms’s latest piece captures the spirit of Miami. [125 points]

Body Parts:

210. Your appendix, in a jar, at Judgment. [34 points]

77. Hearts are beautiful things. They simply and elegantly drive the flow of lifeblood, representing strength, endurance, and even love. Break one. It need not be human, but it must have once beat with the passion that you symbolically shatter. [8 points]

314. It is hard to say which we hate more: wasting time or gingivitis. Come up with an effective way to brush and floss your teeth simultaneously. [16 points]

165. Side mullet. Business on the left, party on the right. [7 points]

134. How many toothpicks can you fit in your beard? [0.1 points per 10 toothpicks, max 4,000 toothpicks]

155. When you were a kid, did you ever cover your hand in glue just to peel it off when it dried? Now that you’ve matured, it’s time to shed your childish ways and molt a complete human glue-skin! You can skip your face, but your adhesive husk should be assembled to form a complete epidermis with identifiable limbs and digits. [31 points]

Around Campus:

160. It’s no secret we think the University of Chicago is terrific, but apparently some people just aren’t convinced. Using string and the architectural nooks and crannies of the Quads, weave an inspirational slogan into a web that would make a Shelob-sized Charlotte proud. Your gossamer propaganda should be spun by 10:00 a.m. on Thursday morning if you want a shot at that blue ribbon. Please make sure not to block walkways or deface buildings with your creations. [30 points, 10 extra points if you wow us with a new design by noon on Friday]

275. Up at the Law School they work all day. Out in the sun they slave away. Couldn’t they use the distraction of mermaids in their fountain? [8 points]

163. Did you ever build those balsa bridges in high school physics? Well, let’s raise the stakes. Deploy and cross our bridge made of nothing more than balsa and glue across ten feet of Botany Pond on Friday at 2:00 p.m. [60 points]

127. A Quistmas Story: The Jose Quintans lampshade-hat (you know the one we want), perched atop a lamp base that is an accurate cast of a heeled, hairy, fishnetty man-leg. [18 points]

207. Plenty of movies have a scene where the entire village sings about a main character behind his back, and when he turns around everyone has to disperse and start muttring about 10 o’clock lunch appointments and things like that. Stage your musical number, lasting at least a minute, behind a professor as he walks to class, only to disperse when he turns around. [14 points]


73. Step 1: Obtain some graphing calculators. Step 2: Combine their displays to make anaughty picture that will scandalize the Judges, using only graphed functions (provide a list). Step 3: Giggle like a schoolchild! [8==D points]

66. Maybe the Church of Satan is having trouble catching on because they don’t have any of those fun worksheets for kids to color and solve puzzles in during Black Mass. Help them out by designing one, and please use proper sources for your information. Our children are our future! [2.666 points]

55. A Jacob’s Ladder that, when flipped, tells the story of your team’s descent into hell. [9 circles of points]

170. Show Vita what the UofC audience really wants: Nerdy Girls Pretending to Be Dinosaurs, the glossy 8-page photo spread. If I were you, Iguanodon some clothes because showing your Vagaceratops will earn you no additional points. [8 points]

58. IT BIG AND DRITY. [2 points]

Additional Highlights:

9. 62.11 2.7 163.21 31.14 274.4 1 115.8 348.15 3.6 248.2 182.13 [5 points]

13. An origami crane of wingspan no more than 1 cm. [15 points]

18. A pen that has been used to sign a bill into law. [18 points]

33. A xyloexplosive! [0.25 points per foot over 10 feet, up to a maximum of 40 points]

50. A Justin Bieber 2.0 Justin-worn memorabilia trading card. [25 points]

71. A rabbit made of grass? A lion made of wildebeest meat? Create a sculpture of a chordate from its food source. [11 points]

83. They were created by man. They evolved. They rebelled. There are many copies. One battle-ready Xerox machine, optimized for office warfare. [12 points, and they have a plan]

129. Clifford the Big Red Dog, with revised text by Louis C.K. [25 points if Louis C.K. writes it for you, 3 points if you do it yourself]

139. Honey Badger secretly DO care: Honey Badger’s PSA about whatever crazy nastyass world problem Honey Badger gives a shit about. [4 points]

220. The recognizable skyline of a city, made entirely out of currency from its home country. [6 points for a US city, 10 points for a foreign city]

223. As tweens in the Oughts, our first experience with the Greek Chorus was animated Lizzie McGuire. But that show never reenacted the Greek tragedies appropriate for its format! Film up to two minutes of The Very Special Episode: Lizzie McGuire does Medea. [8 points]

293. Get a meeting with the mayor of Chicago. [25 points]

159. An autopen that signs your name at Judgment. [55 points]

186. A bookshelf that spins around to reveal the entrance to a secret lair. [24 points, plus 6 bonus points if the spin is triggered by pulling a particular book from the shelf]

330. Blue Cheese Man Group. [1 point]

255. How can there be a Kidz Bop version of “Whip My Hair” when Willow Smith is younger than the Kidz Bop singers? Set things right with the Fetuz Bop rendition! [5 points for the video to “Whip My Cord.” 5 bonus points for also going in the other direction with the Young @ Heart version, “Whip My Pendulous Neckmeats.”]

164. Sometimes, the Internet makes you so angry you cannot type straight. Fix this problem by creating a sturdy keyboard with fist-sized keys. At Judgment, the device should allow me to leave a rude and inane comment on YouTube by punching the keys. [35 points]

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