In Case You Missed It

The Maroon looks back on some of the notable news stories of the past year.

By Maroon Editorial Board

It’s been another eventful year at the University of Chicago, and the ever-reliable Maroon has been by your side through the whole thing. But just in case you were paying more attention to Yik Yak than our news breaks, let us bring you up to speed. Here’s what went down in 2015–16 (cost-benefit analysis available upon request):

1. We were reminded that, even if we get nothing else from this place, at least we’ll be in the same alumni network as Bernie Sanders.

2. Aramark’s screwy behavior left students unenthused, but the University’s recently announced switch to Bon Appétit gives us something to hope for (and all the more reason to sneak into Bartlett).

3. Grad students pushed for unionization, as if they weren’t united enough by the shared misery that is being a grad student.

4. The University heard UofC Divest’s demands and divested from…the Med?

5. Always wanted a Canada Goose? You’re in luck! There’s one nesting on top of Searle.

6. Summer Breeze tickets were sold online this year, but it turns out the new system was just as fucked as waiting in line for hours.

7. United Progress pulled an FDR and got a third term.

8. The University is finally getting a trauma center. (Apparently the Reg didn’t count.)

9. David Axelrod feat. Jon Stewart: An oasis in the hell that is an election cycle without Jon Stewart’s commentary.

10. After many months of anticipation, our relationship turned out to be passionate but fleeting. Pack it up, Packed—we’re dumping your dumplings.

11. A silent rave turned Mansueto into the glowing alien space ship we always knew it was.

12. You’re not paranoid: you really are surrounded by econ majors. But maybe soon neuroscience majors will dethrone them to become the new That Kids–in-residence.

13. No survey needed: Summer Breeze confirmed that the campus climate is as chilly as ever.

14. The University rolled out a new course registration system and immediately felt the red-hot anger of students whose eighth week was already complicated enough.

15. Students leaving their beloved satellite dorms for Campus North weren’t crazy about trading classic UChicago quirkiness for a life that’s more inside the box—inside four 13x 13×17–inch boxes, to be exact.

—The Maroon Editorial Board