Cherish your final days

When the snakeheads

By Tim Murphy

When the snakeheads come, there will be no survivors. Only death. Gruesome, gruesome death.I thought I had found a loophole that would protect us from the killer jellyfish I discussed in my column last week: Jellyfish can’t walk on land (yet). So long as we stick to solid ground, we’ll be aces; they can eat all the salmon and Nemos they want but they can’t touch us landlubbers. The snakehead, however, is fully evolved and thus can crawl/waddle on land, much like your average patron at Denny’s, only with much sharper teeth and no conscience. Key quote:

An Environment Agency source told the Sun: “The reaction was, ‘Oh s***’. This is the ultimate invasive species – if it starts breeding here it’s a disaster.”

Oh, and if you thought this was some sort of freak accident, there’s this:

It is believed the fish may have been smuggled in for an aquarium and illegally released.

I’m pretty sure that was the plot of Frankenfish.