November 24, 2020

What We're Thankful For


Courtesy of Marco Verch

2020 has been a ride, and we’re ready to get off. But before we do so, as per tradition, here are some things the Maroon Editorial Board is thankful for this year:

President Robert Zimmer and Provost Ka Yee Lee, thank you for being committed to (sending a lot of emails about) racial justice as our University grapples with its complicity with anti-Blackness. Like a That Kid’s paper on The Second Sex, you’ve taught us how to write a lot and say very little. 

On the subject of writing emails, we’re reminded of the fact (and beyond grateful) that we’re the top ranked university for free speech, and (incidentally) the top ranked university for monetizing free speech. 

Vanderbilt University, we extend our gratitude (or is it sympathy?) for taking Daniel Diermeier from us. We’re sure he’s already hard at work rationalizing doctoral education and increasing selectivity and prestige.

Ken Griffin, your valiant efforts have ensured future generations of financiers will never know the tyranny of a fair tax—as long as they work for you at Citadel in Chicago, of course. Was that the plan all along?

Booth students, thank you for teaching us about externalities. Today’s problem set: You and over a hundred of your best friends are attending a maskless social gathering downtown in the middle of a global pandemic. Besides you and your friends, who else could be impacted by this transaction?

We’re also thinking of our Boothies-in-training: business economics majors. Thank you for showing us the value of a (neo)liberal education.

We’d be remiss for not mentioning Álvaro Saieh and his native Chile. Keep on rockin’ in the free world.

#CareNotCops organizes for what they think is right, and we find that inspiring. They can also put on quite a pyrotechnics show.

Greek life showed us that one day of activism is better than none. Thanks for not being caught hosting a superspreader event (yet)!

Student Government acted out two of our favorite shows: The West Wing, by doing great work for the student body during the COVID–19 pandemic, and The Real Housewives, for the Twitter drama.

The Chicago Thinker, the “gold standard” of Chicago campus journalism: We’ve done well following their NFL spread advice; their election predictions less so.

UChicago Mutual Aid, we’re glad you exist, because Free & For Sale wasn’t revolutionary enough.

Plants, we’re thankful for your enviable obliviousness to all that’s going on in the world.

Blue light glasses, we’re glad our dork-shades can keep us free of headaches (and style). We, unlike plants, have to see the world everyday,

Panopto, thank you for allowing us to tell ourselves that we’ll watch the recording. This is the last time, we swear.

Command+Tab, thank you for making our discussion sections more bearable. This is the last time, we swear. 

Tinder, thank you for giving us non–COVID–related horror stories. And because this is the last time, we swear. 

Finally, on a serious note, we’re grateful to anyone who has done their part during the pandemic by wearing a mask, social distancing, and being responsible in general. We’re even more thankful for UChicago’s security guards, cleaning staff, and everyone else on the front lines working to keep UChicago running safely. To our faculty, staff, professors, and anybody else who is suffering through the pandemic with us while also instructing, you are greatly appreciated. And to the researchers working toward cures and treatments and the doctors and nurses fighting this disease on the front lines at the University of Chicago Medical Center and beyond: Our gratitude will never be enough, but thank you.