In case you missed it

The Editorial Board reflects on the major stories of the past year.

By Maroon Editorial Board

Three seasons have come and gone, and at this point it’s hard to remember what a Chicago winter feels like. In the past year, much has happened, but it’s understandable that you might’ve missed some things while holed up in the stacks or curled, defeated, in the fetal position under an armchair in Harper. Don’t worry, we gotchu. Here are the top stories of the year, and some additional details that, at the time, went unreported:

1. No Econ Nobel this year. Time to sacrifice a humanities major on the altar of the Money Church (a.k.a. the Cathedral of Capitalism).

2. Aramark introduced its Purple Menu. Next step: Soylent Green.

3. Speculations that Student Government elections this year were really just an elaborate drama put on by University Theater remain unconfirmed. Regardless, we bought into it, with elections seeing the highest voter turnout in years.

4. With a second term, T-Kiss’s fame moves into the T-Pain realm. Is T-Swift level next?

5. Kanye got an audience turnt up, and a Dirt Red party got the floor caved in.

6. Fortunately, Kanye’s performance at Logan did not involve canola oil.

7. The UCPD released its records, but not on vinyl, disappointing the staff of WHPK.

8. Yik Yak made Overheard look classy.

9. Bonanza was once again relegated to NOnanza.

10. The University might be wiping the name of Sophonisba Breckinridge, the first woman to graduate from the Law School, from its dorms. But that’s OK, because they named South after Renee Granville-Grossman, the first woman to donate $44 million to the University.

11. A fire alarm triggered Regxodus, followed by 40 years of wandering in Crerar trying to finish B.A.s.

12. Final assignment for all you graduating fourth-years in Global Warming: Why was it so cold in May?

13. A-level of the Reg continues to be the No.1 student destination on Memorial Day.

14. A new library: #ThanksObama.

—The Maroon Editorial Board