AWS Website Banner 11/4 – 12/4
The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon
The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon
AWS Website Banner 11/4 – 12/4
The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon
Stories and content by Tim Murphy

Time for round two

By Tim Murphy / December 5, 2007

You may remember a few weeks ago, this blog participated in the first-ever “Campaign 2008 Cooking Spectacular” by baking Ann Romney’s family recipe for “Welsh Skillet Cakes.” It was a tremendous...

Don’t touch that, it’s vintage

By Tim Murphy / December 4, 2007

Somewhere along the way we lost ourselves. We lost track of the fact that there’s more to picking a president than raising money and acting genuine. We wandered through the desert thirsting for leadership...

Council of Trent

By Tim Murphy / November 27, 2007
Trent Lott's sudden resignation this morning has cast a shadow over what was otherwise an uneventful

..and we’re back!

By Tim Murphy / November 25, 2007
After a healthy dose of the three Thanksiving F's (food, family, football), this blog is back up and

Thanksgiving post

By Tim Murphy / November 22, 2007

See what I did there? Originally, I was going to post a very long-winded rant about how the North Atlantic Right Whale is the turkey of the sea, both for its corpulence, and for the role it played in the...

An open letter to Ann Romney

By Tim Murphy / November 19, 2007

Dear Mrs. Romney, Thank you for the wonderful recipe for Welsh Skillet Cakes. They were delicious. In fact, I’m eating one right now. As I type, crumbs are crumbling (as crumbs are wont to do) gently...

Burning the bridge to nowhere

By Tim Murphy / November 15, 2007
Everyone reacts differently to winning a championship. Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon dances. Argentinians riot. The U.S. National Bridge Team makes empty political statements. After inspiring millions with their victory at the World Bridge Championships in Shanghai last week, U.S. team members donned their shiny gold medals and smiled in front of a note written...

99 Problems

By Tim Murphy / November 10, 2007
Just returned from aforementioned women's soccer game. The good news is that the Maroons won 1–0 in

Intelligent life encounters Kucinich

By Tim Murphy / November 2, 2007
Dennis Kucinich just wanted to smell the roses. Jimmy Carter was just trying to be friendly. Now America has a full-scale alien problem on its hands. The announcement hit the presidential campaign trail like a Mack truck hitting a family of possums. Dennis J. Kucinich, U.S. Representative from Ohio’s 10th congressional district, champion of the...

Baby Got Brownback

By Tim Murphy / October 19, 2007

I've never met Sam Brownback. I know very little about him other than that his last name is somewhat ridiculous and that he once attempted to bring Terri Schiavo back to life through his stirring rhetoric...

Media seeing red on Wahoo debate

By Tim Murphy / October 18, 2007
Baseball in October means many things: Tim McCarver’s incessant assault on reason on Fox, a debilitating bounty of Dane Cook promos, and this year, hours upon hours of exposure to the most offensive logo in sports, the Cleveland Indians’ Chief Wahoo. For years now, the beaming, crimson-red face of Wahoo has been the object of...

What’s so funny, Ed Koch?

By Tim Murphy / October 18, 2007

In the wake of of Steve Forbes's half-hearted endorsement of Rudy Giuliani today, I got to thinking of what other seemingly irrelevant would-be politicians we'd be hearing from next. That led to a youtube...

Jacoby Ellsbury’s burden

By Tim Murphy / October 14, 2007

For the Red Sox fans like myself who sat through 5+ hours of moderately entertaining baseball in the hopes that the light at the end of the tunnel would eventually materialize, the sight of Eric Gagne...

At dawn in the seventh year, look to the West

By Tim Murphy / October 12, 2007

You see this man? The one on the left? The one who appears entirely unfazed by the immediate presence of Christopher "Ludacris" Bridges, hip-hop icon and sometimes actor? The one with the power tie and...

Just win, baby

By Tim Murphy / October 12, 2007

With three down and just two left to be awarded, the U of C is on the verge of being shut out of this year's Nobel prizes for the third straight year. Philip Roth (pictured at right looking pensive), who...

A new Leif

By Tim Murphy / October 9, 2007

In honor of Leif Erikson here’s a video montage of arguably the second greatest Icelander of all time—Junior hockey coach Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson from Mighty Ducks 2. Stansson exhibits many...

If only it were Thor-sday

By Tim Murphy / October 9, 2007

It's that time of year again. Time to slaughter that boar that has been living in your back yard. Time to break out those limited edition cans of Hagar the Horrible Cola. Time to vanquish thine neighbor...

Oh, the Ignobility

By Tim Murphy / October 7, 2007
We U of C students are mighty proud of our record when it comes to Nobel Laureates. Everyone has no d

Yankees Scalped, cont.

By Tim Murphy / October 5, 2007

I missed last night's Yankee's game, but having faithfully read my morning New York Post, I can only imagine it went something like this. It's really unfortunate that Joba Chamberlain had to be involved...

Why Republicans should ♥ Huckabee in ’08

By Tim Murphy / October 5, 2007
At first glance, GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee seems like the prototypical fringe candidate with absolutely no shot at the nomination. The former governor of Arkansas has lost 110 pounds since 2003, when his doctor told him he would die within the decade if he didn’t make serious lifestyle changes, and many of his campaign...

For once, no clear leader of the pack

By Tim Murphy / September 30, 2007
Chris Hall rarely makes statements that he can’t back up. When it comes to this year’s men cross country squad, though, the seven-year veteran can’t help but smile. “I think our team is the deepest that I’ve ever had here,” said Hall, who guided his squad to UAA championships in 2002 and 2004. “We’re young,...

Rookies give promise to rebuilding year

By Tim Murphy / September 30, 2007
With none of its top five runners from last season returning this fall, women’s cross country entered this season with tempered expectations. After finishing 19th at Nationals, the Maroons had all the makings of a classic rebuilding campaign. One month into the season, though, the #35 Maroons are nationally ranked and basking in unexpected success....

Save the New Hampshire primary

By Tim Murphy / September 19, 2007
It’s a strange election cycle indeed when the one man who seems to be making sense is Newt Gingrich. This summer, the former speaker of the house, in a rare moment of clarity, called the present campaigning process “insane” and “stunningly dangerous,” and decried the increasingly lengthy primary season. And while the system is perhaps...

Where sports come to die? Not on our watch

By Tim Murphy / September 19, 2007
The preseason polls that matter most to U of C students just came out, and the news is fairly good. The U.S. News and World Report listed the school as the ninth-best university in the country, tied with Columbia. Slipping in just below the radar, though, was The Princeton Review’s annual survey and its treacherous...

Forget Wash U: Wheaton poses perfect rival on field and off

By Tim Murphy / June 1, 2007
We play a lot of really weird teams. That was my reaction when I wrote my first article ever for sports—a 200-word tour de force on an early-season men’s soccer match against UW–Oshkosh—and it has been a recurring thought over the last two years. Through my coverage of the Maroons, I’ve witnessed the rise and...

Ray finds way to All-American

By Tim Murphy / May 25, 2007
Down to her last throw and needing a strong mark just to advance to the next round, Claire Ray tossed her way into history. Putting an exclamation mark on a spring debut that has been nothing short of remarkable, the first-year from Park Ridge took sixth place in the discus yesterday at the NCAA D-III...

A star from the start, Bojanov stood out in all three seasons at U of C

By Tim Murphy / May 25, 2007
In track and field, every event has its own set of challenges and its own special skill set. Sprinters deal with a slim margin of error and quick starts off a starter’s pistol. Long-distance runners face changes in pace, the claustrophobia of being stuck in a pack, and extreme fatigue. Jumpers learn to time their...

Vanity Fair editor details Atomic Bazaar

By Tim Murphy / May 22, 2007
An American-made customs and security checkpoint in the Caucasus that operates like a Four Seasons and has about as much terror-fighting clout. A secret city in the Urals filled with drunken soldiers and officials just waiting to be bribed. A small industrial complex in Istanbul removed from the public eye where a nuclear weapon can...

Track sets sights on nation’s best

By Tim Murphy / May 22, 2007
Last season’s NCAA outdoor championships served as a swan song of sorts for a crop of Maroons distance runners. Then fourth-years Teage O’Connor and Jessica Winter both raced for the final time in their careers, and Emil Bojanov, now a senior, made his nationals debut in a race spoiled by a freak accident in the...

Time to break out the ballots

By Tim Murphy / May 18, 2007
With the end of the year only weeks away, it’s almost time for the annual All-Maroons online voting. In each issue leading up to the final All-Maroons results, we’ll provide a closer look at nominees for select categories. This issue brings you the top plays of 2006–2007. Gone in seven seconds: Hamilton stuns Violets Down...

Kohawks get even in softball rematch

By Tim Murphy / May 11, 2007
For Chicago softball, Thursday’s matchup with Coe had all the makings of an instant classic. There was the fourth-year ace notching strikeout after strikeout from the circle. There was clutch, injury-be-damned defense from its left fielder. There was timely hitting, heads-up baserunning, and a never-say-die attitude. The only thing missing was a win. In their...

Timeout with Nate Silver: BP’s VP illuminates the sport’s fuzzy numbers

By Tim Murphy / May 11, 2007
Boston Red Sox GM Theo Epstein says it is the first thing he reads every morning. Since its inception in 1996, Baseball Prospectus has helped revolutionize the way teams approach the sport, with its innovative statistical projections and analysis as well as its yearly pre-season almanac. Currently serving as its Executive Vice President, Nate Silver...

Tennis star Lin headed to NCAA individual tournament

By Tim Murphy / May 4, 2007
One year after earning its first All-American certificate in six seasons, women’s tennis has a shot at making it two years in a row. Earning a well deserved reward for a spectacular debut season in Hyde Park, first-year Marissa Lin was among 32 competitors selected to compete at the NCAA DIII individual championships May 18–20...

Schwanz shot women’s basketball to prominence

By Tim Murphy / May 1, 2007
Good basketball teams, like Rome, aren’t built in a day. Behind every bit of progress, there are hours of practice—late nights in the gym shooting free throws and early mornings running sprints before breakfast. But that wasn’t apparent for Chicago on January 8, 2005—the night the Maroons left the UAA cellar for good, dead-bolting the...

Judgment day for men’s tennis at UAAs

By Tim Murphy / April 27, 2007
Going into this season, the expectations of the men’s tennis teamwere tempered by a mix of inexperience and x-factors. With much of last year’s squad lost to graduation and an influx of untested newcomers tabbed to fill their spots, head coach Marty Perry’s squad would have been excused if it had taken its lumps on...

Consistency still out of baseball’s reach

By Tim Murphy / April 24, 2007
There were all the elements necessary for a great weekend for baseball: freshly grilled bratwursts and hot dogs in the stands, 70-degree weather with no clouds in sight, strong starting pitching, and a great awakening in the middle of the order. Unfortunately for the Maroons, it couldn’t come together all at once, and Chicago couldn’t...

Panelists ponder comedy’s political impact

By Tim Murphy / April 20, 2007
Whatever life throws at you, there’s always FOX News, Andy Borowitz told a packed audience Tuesday evening at Ida Noyes Hall. Addressing the role of comedy in political discourse, the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air creator presented humor as therapeutic in times of duress but said it is anything but a real solution. Borowitz’s jibe was...

Track has edge after icy winter

By Tim Murphy / April 20, 2007
Losing can leave a bad taste in your mouth. Losing a shot at your first conference championship in school history by a mere three-and-a half points leaves you feeling like you just ate a raw onion and washed it down with pickle brine. For women’s track, the heartbreak experienced six weeks ago at the Reggie...

Walk-on turned star Crum led soccer to the brink

By Tim Murphy / April 17, 2007
As far as injuries go, it was as freakish as they come. There was no contact, no buildup, no warning—just a sudden jolt of a pain and the complete sense of powerlessness that comes with it. Keith Crum had gone after a loose ball in the squad’s regional semifinal against St. John’s (MN). After clearing...
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