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The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon
The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon
AWS Website Banner 11/4 – 12/4
The University of Chicago’s Independent Student Newspaper since 1892

Chicago Maroon
Stories and content by Tim Murphy

Uncle Sugar vs. Maple Sugar

By Tim Murphy / March 12, 2008

It's been a while since the U.S. and Canada have locked horns militarily. Back before his name was synonymous with treason (and eggs), Benedict Arnold led an assault on Quebec in 1775, and another attempted...

Hagee the horrible

By Tim Murphy / March 10, 2008
As a televangelist, CEO, author, lobbyist, Death Eater, and now, quite possibly, a presidential king-maker, John Hagee has spent his adult life sowing the seeds of religious intolerance within a large and devoted community. He blamed Hurricane Katrina on a gay pride parade, called Catholicism “a gutter religion,” and denounced Harry Potter as an introduction...

President Nader?

By Tim Murphy / March 3, 2008
When Robert Zimmer became the 13th president of the University of Chicago in October 2006, something

Check yoself before you wreck yoself, Canada

By Tim Murphy / February 29, 2008

TPM has an update on the story Alec mentioned earlier. GSB Professor Austan Goolsbee first denied to the New York Observer having contacted the Canadian Consulate about NAFTA, then declined to confirm...

Deranged Kenwood resident to decide election

By Tim Murphy / February 27, 2008

View Larger MapOutside of Tim Russert's attempt to reveal to the world that Barack Obama is a card-carrying member of the Nation of Islam, there wasn't much to report from tonight's final Democratic debate....

Page 6

By Tim Murphy / February 26, 2008
Referencing the Sunstein–Nussbaum split, Alec makes a great point about how we cover our campus cel

Forget the A-level, campus needs 24-hour diner

By Tim Murphy / February 26, 2008
Everything goes better with bacon. It’s a simple truth that has stood the tests of time and taste. The list of products it enhances is endless: cheeseburgers, salads, sirloin steaks—even sticks of butter. So last year, when the good folks at Bacon Salt premiered their groundbreaking new line of pork-flavored seasoning, it came as something...

Free St. Albans!

By Tim Murphy / February 20, 2008
Just to follow up on my earlier post, we did have more intelligent content on the world's newest nati

Hainje’s 1,000th point carries men’s basketball past Emory

By Tim Murphy / February 19, 2008
Needing to take care of business against the UAA’s two weakest squads, men’s hoops dialed long distance this weekend to pull into a tie with 10th-ranked Brandeis for second place in the conference. In their final road trip of the regular season, the Maroons (15–7, 8–3 UAA) broke away late to take down Emory (10–12,...

A chip off the old Block

By Tim Murphy / February 12, 2008
[img id=”80301″ align=”alignleft”] We have a lot to worry about these days. According to the Mayan calendar, the world is slated to end in four years, giving the Cubs a little less time to win the World Series and bringing a sense of urgency to whoever enters the White House in November. Meanwhile, a U.S....

lolz

By Tim Murphy / February 11, 2008
Because one can only handle so many different spellings of the name Chingis before going insane (seri

Obamaha

By Tim Murphy / February 9, 2008
My last post for the weekend, probably, but it is being reported now that today's Nebraska Democratic

BREAKING: Obama is a muslim. truth.

By Tim Murphy / February 8, 2008

I'll be posting my eulogy for Mitt Romney shortly. Tears are dripping like lemon drops on my keyboard as I type. It's been a rough day for all of us here.But in the meantime, enjoy this column explaining...

Oh boy!

By Tim Murphy / February 5, 2008

This was scene outside the Ray School this morning, where I cast my first ever election day vote. There wasn't much of a line at 10:30--a fair number of students and lots of old people, which I think is...

Without ice hockey, athletic department playing shorthanded

By Tim Murphy / February 1, 2008
Another year, another brutal Hyde Park winter. As foreign television crews descend upon our South Side oasis to catch a glimpse of Barack Obama’s posh Kenwood digs (courtesy of that “slum landlord Rezko”), and students everywhere contemplate creative ways to cross from Bartlett to Stuart without contact with the latest snow flurry (hint: it’s not...

Keep on Barackin’ the free world

By Tim Murphy / January 29, 2008
Fourteen years ago, Axl Rose had a dream. Blending his rare talent for screeching incomprehensible nothings into a microphone and his titanic powers of self-promotion, the Guns ‘N’ Roses front man would introduce the music-loving masses to a new world order: Chinese Democracy. While Bono was busy tending to starving kids unlikely to ever make...

Hit and run1

By Tim Murphy / January 27, 2008
We at the The Editors Blog like to give credit where credit is due. So rather than criticize Hillary

Run for your lives!

By Tim Murphy / January 16, 2008
Apparently that crazy guy who brings a metal detector to the supermarket and asks you for alms has no

A fruitless search for the immaculate concession

By Tim Murphy / January 15, 2008
Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney stood confidently behind the podium, thanked his dutiful wife and campaign volunteers, and proceeded to turn reality squarely on its head. “There have been three races so far—I’ve gotten two silvers and one gold,” he began, shortly after flipping away his notecards and announcing his intention to speak from the heart....

Oh boy!1

By Tim Murphy / January 13, 2008
Retired Air Force Colonel Jim Ogonowski, fresh from losing an open congressional race to Niki Tsongas

2 days in NH, part 8: “I’m here to win”

By Tim Murphy / January 9, 2008

Right down the street from the Straight Talk Express and C-SPAN but light years away in the political consciousness, Dennis Kucinich is speaking to whoever’s willing to listen at Harlow’s Pub.There’s...

2 days in NH, part 7: Shut out of democracy

By Tim Murphy / January 9, 2008

All the energy that was missing at Romney and Huckabee’s rallies is back in a big way outside the town house in Peterborough. McCain, much like Obama, has a way about him that wins him not just supporters,...

2 days in NH, part 6: The toadstool

By Tim Murphy / January 8, 2008

(note: Up until this point, my posts have gone in chronological order. However, I'm skipping the Saturday morning "Ask Mitt Anything" event for now to focus on the hectic trip to Peterborough)Surreal is...

2 days in NH, part 4: Schoolhouse rock

By Tim Murphy / January 7, 2008

(note: for some reason that image can only be posted horizontally. Just tilt your head sideways.)Watch Mike Huckabee work a room in Henniker and you begin to see just how inevitable his victory in Iowa...

7 candidates, 6 speeches, 1 Mike Gravel sign

By Tim Murphy / January 5, 2008

I just got back from a two-day swing in the Granite State where I saw, in order of appearance, John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Dennis Kucinich, and John McCain....

My interview with David Brooks

By Tim Murphy / January 2, 2008

Matt and I disagreed on the merits of David Brooks' case for Barack Obama, but that shouldn't take away from the significance of Brooks' unofficial endorsement of the Illinois Senator. And unrelatedly,...

The firing squad

By Tim Murphy / January 2, 2008
Lost in all the hullabaloo over Mike Huckabee's ridiculous "Good cop, bad cop" press conference yeste

Latte liberalism

By Tim Murphy / December 31, 2007
During my two-minute stop at at Dunkin Donuts today, I saw 30-second spots for both Hillary Clinton a

In Dodd we trust

By Tim Murphy / December 22, 2007
It was shaping up to be just another uneventful day at my altogether uneventful job. And then I saw i

omg, so U of C!

By Tim Murphy / December 19, 2007
This is a week old by now, but worth checking out if you haven't already. It's a mock attack ad targe

Remix to ignition

By Tim Murphy / December 13, 2007
Anyone who forgot to tune in to today's Republican presidential debate from Des Moines missed absolut

Two ships passing in the night

By Tim Murphy / December 10, 2007

Mike Gravel's latest campaign video is up on youtube, and this time he has outdone even himself. As the old saying goes, the only thing better than one Mike Gravel is two Mike Gravels. Either they cloned...

How to make a safer campus

By Tim Murphy / December 8, 2007

Forget increased patrols and a new police station south of the Midway. I think all of our problems could be solved if we just had something like this.Why is Batman living in Andersonville when he could...

Libby Dole 1, Hillary Clinton 0

By Tim Murphy / December 8, 2007

As was mentioned earlier in the week, the discovery of dolekemp96.org has set off a flurry of activity at headquarters. It's like unearthing Tuthenkhamen or finding an Indian burial ground in your backyard--two...

Jimmy Cardigan

By Tim Murphy / December 6, 2007
My world has been shaken in the past few days by the discovery of perhaps the greatest political webs
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